Tonight has been one of those nights where I am just thinking so much about where my journey in this industry is going, I've worked in games that took too long and in other games where they were so successful but only took few months.
As I think about everything and get myself into a larger project with a larger team I start to doubt if that was the right decision. You may ask why I am doubting about it even though the project is amazing and I have an amazing team? Well, I honestly would hate to convert my passion into "work" and yes I would love to do this full time but currently with a day job and a side project I really want to use my free time to do whatever I want to do and making a large game just feels like a dream for many but once you begin to organize the project and have to report to other people it just becomes another job and I hate that!
I am not telling you this to bring you down in your journey but to tell you the truth of what I am honestly experiencing. I believe that in order for me to be super excited I have to have full control of the entire production, instead of having other's in charge of the production. This is not because I am a control freak but I work very hard while making games so I would expect other's in the team to be able to do so as well, if not then my motivation in the project diminishes.
I know it is going to take some time until I can hire people, but for now I am treating game development as a way of expressing myself, a way of life, and is what I love to do the most in my free time, then if it becomes a full time job then I will welcome it but I won't treat it as a job unless it comes in the form of enjoyment.
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